• Makes you afraid by using looks actions, gestures, loud voice
• Destroys your property
• Abuses your pets
• Displays weapons to frighten you

• Threatens to do something to hurt you, your children or pets
• Threatens to report you to welfare or immigration authorities or to the Administration for Children's Services (ACS)
• Threatens to abandon you and your children
• Threatens to commit suicide if you leave him
• Forces you to drop criminal charges
• Forces you to do illegal things

• Minimizes abuse and does not take your concerns about it seriously
• Denies that abuse happened
• Tells you that your fears are not important
• Shifts responsibility of abuse to you, says that you caused it
• Tells you jealousy is a sign of love

• Isolates you from your family and/or friends
• Controls what you do, where you go, who you see or talk to, what you read
• Limits your involvement in activities outside of the home
• Uses jealousy to justify controlling actions

• Makes you feel guilty about the children
• Threatens to take the children away
• Uses visitation to harass you
• Uses your children to relay threatening messages
• Tells children lies about you or tells them you are responsible for the abuse

• Treats you like a servant
• Makes the of the "big" decisions
• Acts like the "master of the castle"
• Has rigid perception of men's and women's roles and responsibilities

Special considerations for immigrant women

• Threatens to report you to the immigration authorities (USCIS) if you try to leave or go to the police
• Fails to file papers to legalize your immigration status
• Withdraws or threatens to withdraw papers filed for your legal residency
• Does not allow you to seek citizenship

• Hides or destroys important papers: passport, visa, ID cards, health-care cards, birth certificates or marriage license
• Lies to you about your residency status or the papers required to establish legal residency
• Refuses to file papers to legalize your immigration status
• Alleges on legal papers that you have a history of prostitution, drug abuse or other criminal activities

• Lies to you about US laws, the police and the courts
• Threatens to report you to the immigration authorities
• Lies to you about your right to access services such as health care and counseling

• Threatens to report you to the immigration authorities if you work "under the table"
• Prevents you from obtaining a work permit
• Does not allow you to learn English or to get job training

• Makes you depend on him for English translation
• Controls what information he does translate for you, withholding information that may be important
• Makes you sign papers or legal documents that are in English which you don't understand

• Threatens to take your children to a foreign country
• Writes to your family and tells them lies about you
• Threatens to abandon you and tell your family that you left
• Threatens to have you deported without your children
• Threatens to report your children to the immigration authorities
• Threatens to harm members of your family in your home country

• Does not allow you to learn English or American customs
• Isolates you from friends and family or anyone who speaks your language
• Does not allow you to practice your religion

Domestic violence hotlines

If you are in immediate danger
Call 911

NYC Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.621.HOPE (4673)

National Domestic Violence hotline
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Where else to turn for help

Safety Alert
Computer use can easily be monitored. It is impossible to completely clear your Internet tracks or entirely hide your activities on your personal computer. The only safe way use a computer or to access the Internet is on a computer that your abuser does not have access to. Learn more.

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